


The Language of Love

by WinterSky101



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bigotry & Prejudice, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Deaf Character, Deaf Feuilly, Falling In Love, Fights, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Genderqueer Jean Prouvaire, Other, Sign Language, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 01:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5892115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterSky101/pseuds/WinterSky101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jehan spoke lots of languages. Feuilly didn't speak any. They made it work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Language of Love

**Author's Note:**

> This fic centers around genderqueer Jehan and Deaf Feuilly. As I am neither genderqueer or Deaf, I have tried to be as respectful as possible with both. If I've misrepresented anything, please tell me and I'll make the necessary changes. I also do not understand sign language, especially not French sign language, so I've made all the signing fairly vague. Again, if I've done anything wrong, please tell me.
> 
> There is one scene in here in which Jehan and Feuilly get in a fight with some transphobic assholes who say some hurtful things to Jehan. If you'd prefer not to read that, the scene goes from the beginning of the third section to the point where Jehan and Feuilly go to Feuilly's apartment (ending around the line "Should we go back to my place and get cleaned up?"). You can skip that section without missing too much.

It wasn't unusual for Jehan, when xe couldn't find a word in one language to demonstrate what xe wanted to say, to jump into a different language. Case in point, xyr current conversation with Marius included words in English, French, German, Greek (Marius had looked to Grantaire desperately for a translation, which he gave in the most profane way possible), and Latin (Combeferre had given the translation on that one, as everyone knew his Latin was the best in the group besides Jehan's, although Grantaire's was swiftly catching up). As well as those five languages, Jehan knew some Russian (mostly swears), a bit of Spanish, and enough Italian to be able to ask for xyr favorite gelato flavor, which was really enough. (Jehan's visit to Italy had been educational, but not really when it came to language.)

"But Marius," Jehan protested, shaking xyr head at Marius' naïve comment about Victor Hugo's _Demain dès l'aube_ , on which he had to write a paper. He had asked Jehan for help, which had led to their discussion, which had already lasted for almost half an hour. "Marius, you don't understand. The events of _Demain dès l'aube_... His walk isn't just a...a _dérive_ 1. The poem is so much more. It's a _welträtsel_ 2. Hugo is searching for the meaning of life in this journey, since he can't find it in his own life. Come on, how do you not see this?"

"It's just a poem!" Marius protested. "Hugo is going to visit someone he cares about, and at the end, you find out she's dead. What more is there?"

"Do you have to compare this poem to another, similar poem?" Jehan asked. "Because if you do, you should compare it to _Le dormeur du val_ by Arthur Rimbaud."

"How does it go?" Marius asked.

Jehan sighed. Xe was about to recite it - it was a good poem, and xe had lots of poems memorized - but xe was interrupted by the noise of someone entering the Musain. Both Jehan and Marius looked up as Bahorel entered the café, followed by someone Jehan didn't recognize. They - Jehan didn't make gender judgements, as it would be immensely hypocritical - had curly red hair and lots of freckles.

"Hi, guys," Bahorel called loudly. "This is Feuilly. He's super cool and wanted to come to a meeting. If you're a dick to him, you answer to me."

Jehan found xemself studying Feuilly. He seemed shy, as he lingered behind Bahorel and didn't say a single word. Jehan wasn't one to make judgements, though. Xe could be pretty shy sometimes xemself. Feuilly went over to sit with Bahorel and Grantaire, with whom he apparently had an art class, and Jehan continued xyr discussion with Marius, reciting the Rimbaud poem and convincing him that it really was deeper than just a dead man in a valley. Marius was brilliant, yes - he taught himself English and German and was in law school, so he was definitely smart - but sometimes, Jehan couldn't understand how he didn't comprehend the deeper meanings in things like emotional, philosophical French poetry.

Enjolras called the meeting to order and gave his speech a few minutes later, which naturally provoked an argument with Grantaire. Feuilly, Jehan noticed, stared intently at someone's face when they spoke. Jehan wondered if it would be unnerving to be on the receiving end of that stare. Xe resolved to talk to Feuilly later, to find out for xemself.

Enjolras' speech was good, and his ensuing argument with Grantaire was entertaining, but both were the same as they always were. Marius had to leave early to go on a date with Cosette, leaving Jehan without a conversation partner. Seeing that Bahorel had left Feuilly to talk to Joly about leather pants (Jehan most definitely did _not_ want to know), Jehan decided that xe would go give the newest member of Les Amis a proper welcome.

Feuilly didn't look away from Enjolras and Grantaire's argument as Jehan approached. Thinking he perhaps didn't hear xem, Jehan tapped Feuilly on the shoulder gently. Feuilly jumped, looking up at xem. "Hello!" Jehan said, waving. "Is this chair taken?"

Feuilly shook his head. Jehan sat down next to him. "I'm Jehan," xe added. "Well, Jean, technically, but you can call me Jehan. Jehan Prouvaire. Preferred pronouns xe/xem/xyrs, please." Feuilly didn't say anything, just nodded shyly. Jehan wondered if he would talk, or if he was too shy to even speak to him. "I'm a poet," Jehan added. "In case you were wondering. And I've been a member of Les Amis for years. I've seen far too many fights between Enjolras and Grantaire. It's interesting the first time, yes, but they do it literally every meeting. It gets boring after the first million times."

Feuilly's lips twitched into a slight smile. "You think I'm joking, but it's literally every meeting!" Jehan added. "I could die from their sexual tension. Every time they argue, I swear it's some weird sort of foreplay or mating ritual." Feuilly let out a little laugh that was surprisingly close to a giggle. Jehan loved the sound immediately. Xe would have to write a poem about it later. "And they're not the only ones. You should be glad you didn't join before Marius started dating Cosette. He came to a meeting one day babbling about how she burst into his life like... What was it? Oh, right, 'the music of angels, the light of the sun.' He claimed to be 'struck to the bone in a moment of breathless delight.' Courfeyrac, of course, made the profane joke that Marius was really just asking for." A sudden thought struck Jehan. "Do you know which one is Courfeyrac? He's that one." Jehan turned away to point at Courfeyrac. "The one with the curly hair and-"

Feuilly laid a gentle hand on Jehan's arm. When Jehan looked back, he tapped his lips with a slightly apologetic look. Suddenly, it all made sense.

"Oh!" Jehan gasped. "You're not shy, you're Deaf!"

Feuilly looked a little shocked. He pulled a pen out of his pocket and grabbed a napkin, scrawling on it. _You didn't know? Bahorel told me he told everyone on Saturday._

"I missed Saturday's meeting," Jehan replied, suddenly understanding everything. "I didn't know. I just thought you were really shy. I'm sorry."

Feuilly chuckled.  _It's fine,_ he wrote, smiling. _You're not the first person to think that._

"So you read lips?" Jehan asked. Feuilly nodded. "And do you speak sign language?"

Feuilly nodded again and signed something. "I barely know any," Jehan replied, trying to remember the sign for "how are you." Cautiously, xe tried to sign it. Feuilly grinned and took Jehan's hands in his own, changing their positions slightly. Then he did the sign, indicating for Jehan to copy him. Xe slowly did, prompting another smile and a thumbs up.

 _That was good,_ Feuilly wrote.

Jehan chuckled. "I'm sure it wasn't. What did I say the first time?"

 _Nothing, but it was close enough that I knew what you were trying to say,_ Feuilly wrote. _But I bet you learn fast._

"I'd like to learn sign language," Jehan offered.

Feuilly looked pleased.  _I could teach you,_ he wrote on the napkin, showing it to Jehan shyly. _I'm sure Bahorel would help too, when he has the time._

"That sounds perfect," Jehan replied, beaming. "When will my lessons begin?"

 _Why not now?_ Feuilly wrote. He signed something that Jehan vaguely recognized. _That means "my name is,"_ he wrote, grabbing a new napkin to continue their discussion. _Copy me._

Jehan struggled to copy Feuilly's motions. Feuilly burst out into laughter as xe tried it.

Jehan frowned. "What is it?" xe demanded. Feuilly signed the original phrase again. "What did I say the first time?" Jehan asked, trying again.

 _Nothing,_ Feuilly replied. _Try it again._

"I feel like you're censoring yourself," Jehan muttered as xe tried again. Feuilly nodded excitedly, gesturing for xem to do the sign again. Jehan did and Feuilly beamed.

 _Good job,_ he praised. _Do you know what time it is?_

"Um..." Jehan looked down at xyr watch. "Nearly ten."

Feuilly signed something angrily. _I have to go,_ he told Jehan. _Will I see you again at the next meeting?_

"Of course," Jehan replied, beaming. "I can't wait."

Feuilly smiled back before getting up and going to Bahorel. He smacked Bahorel in the head, glaring at him and signing something quickly. Bahorel looked down at his phone, swore, and signed something back. Jehan watched as Feuilly and Bahorel left, waving when Feuilly's eyes met xyrs. That, at least, both of them could understand.

"You two looked like you were having fun," Courfeyrac teased as he sat down in Feuilly's abandoned chair. Jehan was surprised he had left Combeferre's side. Ever since they started dating a month ago (after mutual pining for _years_ ), they were almost always attached at the hip. "Were you talking Feuilly's ear off because he can't interrupt you?"

"If anyone would do that, it would be you," Jehan retorted. Courfeyrac shrugged, knowing it was true. "And actually, he was teaching me some sign language."

"Oh he _was_ , was he?" Courfeyrac asked, sounding delighted. Jehan was sure that voice boded nothing good. "Do you _like_ him?"

"What are we, second graders?" Jehan asked, hoping xyr cheeks weren't betraying xem. They did that sometimes.

"Someone's avoiding the question," Courfeyrac replied in a sing-song voice. "Jehan and Feuilly, sitting in a tree-"

"Oh, shut up," Jehan muttered, now positive that xyr cheeks were bright red.

Courfeyrac pointed at xem excitedly. "You're blushing! You do like him!"

"Shut up!" Jehan repeated, although with even less venom that time. Xe tried to hide xyr face with xyr hair, but it was braided.

Courfeyrac noticed - of course he did - and giggled. "Someone's embarrassed," he teased, using the same stupid sing-song voice. Jehan buried xyr face in xyr hands. Courfeyrac laid a gentle hand between xyr shoulder blades.

"It's alright," he soothed. "I can help you get the boy of your dreams, and you'll-"

"No," Jehan interrupted, sitting up quickly. "I am not taking relationship advice from you. That's a terrible idea and I know it."

"I resent that!" Courfeyrac cried. "It's a perfectly wonderful idea!"

"How long did it take you to finally ask Combeferre out?" Jehan demanded.

Courfeyrac went slightly pink. "That was different. It was _Combeferre_."

"And this is Feuilly," Jehan retorted. "Your stupid plays won't work on him. I'm not taking your relationship advice."

There was a pause for a moment. Finally...

"But you do admit you like him!" Courfeyrac crowed. Jehan sighed and let xyr head fall on the table.

Xe should never have become friends with Courfeyrac in the first place. He could be way too meddlesome for his own good. (And for Jehan's too, but that was a different matter entirely.)

* * *

The next meeting went much the same as the first. Feuilly taught Jehan more sign language, and they decided to meet up the next morning, as it was a Sunday and thus neither of them had any classes.

The next morning, Jehan was regretting that plan. Xe was exhausted after spending the whole night writing poetry (that was not about Feuilly and his copper curls and his bottle-green eyes what are you talking about). After getting some coffee and taking a shower, xe felt a bit more human, but still definitely tired and not in the mood to entertain company.

Jehan had just pulled on some clothes and thrown xyr hair back in a sloppy braid when there was a knock on the door. Jehan checked the time, swore loudly in Russian, and went to open the door. On the other side were Feuilly and Bahorel. Bahorel looked half asleep, but Feuilly looked far too awake and chipper for that early in the morning. Jehan wasn't sure if xe loved him for it or hated him.

Feuilly waved, making the sign for _"how are you?"_ Jehan gave a tired thumbs up, repeating the sign back to Feuilly. His thumbs up was more enthusiastic and far more awake.

"Why the hell did you plan to meet up this early?" Bahorel groaned as he entered Jehan's apartment. "You better have a shitload of coffee waiting for me, Prouvaire."

"Yeah, sure," Jehan replied sleepily, going into xyr kitchen. "Do you want any, Feuilly?" xe added, turning around to give Feuilly a clear look at xyr mouth. Feuilly shook his head. Jehan continued into xyr kitchen, grabbing a second mug and filling it with coffee for Bahorel. Xe had already made a good-sized pot, but all things considered, xe thought xe ought to start making a second one too.

"Here you go," Jehan told Bahorel, giving him the coffee black. Xe knew that was how Bahorel preferred it. On the other hand, Jehan liked it with enough milk to turn it to a pleasant tan and so much sugar that even Courfeyrac looked shocked. Jehan definitely didn't wonder how Feuilly took his coffee. Xe wasn't _that_ head-over-heels, not at all. In fact, xe wasn't head-over-heels for Feuilly at all. That was just what Courfeyrac thought, but it was wrong, and Jehan just liked Feuilly as a friend. Completely. Entirely.

Jehan was really bad at lying to xemself.

"I've got to make a quick phone call," xe declared suddenly, as Feuilly and Bahorel were getting settled in the living room. "Sorry. I'll be right back. Bahorel, there's more coffee brewing, if you run out. Be right back!"

Jehan tore out of the room, running to xyr bedroom and closing the door firmly behind xem. Xe pulled out xyr phone and dialed desperately.

 _"Jehan, what the hell,"_ Grantaire groaned as he picked up the phone.

Jehan sank down on xyr bed. "Grantaire, _βοηθήστε με_ 3."

Xe could practically see Grantaire raise an eyebrow.  _"Why are you calling me at 9:30 on a Saturday morning and talking to me in_ Greek _? What do you need help with?"_

"I don't want Bahorel and Feuilly to overhear me," Jehan told Grantaire, continuing to speak in Greek. "That's why I'm not speaking in English or French."

 _"I don't think Feuilly overhearing you would be a problem,"_ Grantaire pointed out.

Jehan scoffed. "Yes, but Bahorel could hear me and he could tell Feuilly and then he would know-"

 _"Whoa, calm down,"_ Grantaire interrupted. _"And would you stop talking in Greek? It's too early for that sort of shit."_

"Oh, I know you're more of a morning person than you like to admit," Jehan retorted. "And I will _not_ stop speaking in Greek. I don't want them to know what I'm saying."

 _"Why not?"_ Grantaire replied, starting to sound properly concerned. Jehan flopped backwards on xyr back.

"Feuilly is too perfect."

Grantaire burst into laughter. _"Excuse me?"_

"He's just...perfect," Jehan groaned. "And I want to know stupid things about him, like how he takes his coffee and what his favorite band is and if he knows that I'm head over heels for him and that, by the way, is why I'm telling you this in Greek."

 _"You're overthinking things,"_ Grantaire replied. _"Just tell him how you feel."_

"And when are you planning to do the same with Enjolras?" Jehan retorted.

Grantaire sighed, and Jehan could picture the wince that went along with it.  _"Low blow, Prouvaire."_

"The point still stands," Jehan replied. Xe sighed and sat up. "I'm not telling Feuilly, but I'm glad I told somebody."

 _"You should tell Feuilly,"_ Grantaire countered. _"I know I don't take my own advice, but that doesn't mean it's not good."_

"If you tell Enjolras, I'll tell Feuilly," Jehan bartered. "Which mean I'll never say anything."

 _"Oh, shut up,"_ Grantaire groaned. _"Anyway, don't you have guests?"_

"Right!" Jehan had almost forgotten about them. "Bye, R. Thanks for the help." Jehan hung up the phone and left xyr bedroom. Feuilly and Bahorel were signing to each other on the couch. "Sorry," Jehan apologized. "I forgot that I had to call Grantaire about something."

"I doubt he appreciated being woken up," Bahorel joked.

"He's actually much more of a morning person than he pretends to be," Jehan replied, taking a sip of xyr coffee. "He was already up."

"Was he really?" Bahorel asked, looking mischievous.

Jehan suddenly had the thought that saying that to Bahorel was a bad idea. "Don't mess with him about it," xe added.

Bahorel grinned wickedly. "I wouldn't dream of it." Jehan found that xe got a different impression from Bahorel's expression, but xe didn't say anything. Xe wasn't quite sure what Bahorel would do with the information he had just been given, but xe was sure he would do something.

Feuilly signed something quickly that Jehan didn't understand. "He wants to know if everything's okay," Bahorel translated. "With the call and stuff."

"Oh, yes, everything's fine," Jehan replied, smiling at Feuilly. Xe had to be normal around him. Xe wouldn't make things weird. Xe didn't _want_ things to be weird. The fact that xe was ridiculously head-over-heels for Feuilly shouldn't have any impact on their friendship.

Feuilly smiled. _"Good,"_ he signed.

Jehan beamed at him. "Shall we do another lesson?" xe asked. "I'd like to learn more sign language."

"Might as well, since that's why I was dragged awake at the ass-crack of dawn," Bahorel grumbled. Jehan had almost forgotten he was there. "What have you two been working on?"

Slowly, Jehan signed out a basic greeting: _"Hello, my name is Jehan, what's yours?"_ Next, xe signed, _"I'm well, how are you?"_ Feuilly leaned over and gently corrected xem at one point. Jehan managed to keep xyr pulse under control.

"Feuilly was going to help me to tell people my preferred pronouns and ask them what theirs are," Jehan told Bahorel.

He nodded. "Sure. Sounds easy enough."

Feuilly slid a sheet of paper over at Jehan. _This is how to sign 'my preferred pronouns are,'_  he had written. Jehan watched him closely as he slowly went through the signs. _"Good,I_ Feuilly signed. He paused before signing something at Bahorel quickly. Bahorel signed something back. Frowning, Feuilly's fingers flew again, spelling sentences into the air.

"Just ask xem!" Bahorel finally snapped aloud.

Jehan frowned. "Ask me what?" xe asked.

Feuilly was slightly pink as he scrawled something on the paper.  _How do you spell your pronouns?_ Feuilly went fiercely red as Jehan looked at him. His fingers flew in what appeared to be the sign language equivalent of babbling.

"He's just apologizing like an idiot," Bahorel told Jehan.

"You don't need to apologize," Jehan told Feuilly firmly, taking Feuilly's hands in xyr own to stop the flow of babble. "Let me see the paper." Feuilly handed Jehan the paper, and xe carefully wrote xyr pronouns on it. "Here. I know they're difficult to spell."

 _"Sorry,"_ Feuilly signed.

Jehan shook xyr head. "Not a problem."

 _This is how you sign your pronouns,_  Feuilly wrote, signing slowly and carefully. Jehan copied him. Feuilly had to correct xem once, but xe basically had it figured out. Feuilly beamed and gave Jehan a big thumbs-up.

Xe blushed. "Thank you for teaching me," xe told Feuilly.

Feuilly grinned.  _"My pleasure,"_ he signed slowly. Jehan grinned as xe figured out the words.

"Was it really necessary for you two to wake me up, just to watch you flirt?" Bahorel asked. Jehan went bright red. Next to xem, Feuilly did as well.

"We're not flirting," Jehan protested, as Feuilly began babbling with his hands again.

Bahorel scoffed. "'Course you aren't," he replied skeptically. "I'm starved. Do you have food?"

Jehan somehow found xemself sitting in xyr kitchen, watching as Feuilly made excellent pancakes and scrambled eggs that were to die for. Bahorel ate a ridiculous amount, but Feuilly didn't seem to mind the amount of cooking. Jehan ended up eating a lot as well, remembering halfway through xyr first helping that xe hadn't eaten dinner the night before. Feuilly smiled slightly as he served the two of them their food.

Feuilly signed something to Bahorel, who sighed deeply. "He wants to know if you like his cooking," he relayed. Jehan nodded enthusiastically, xyr mouth full of pancakes. Feuilly's cheeks went pleasantly pink. "Flirting," Bahorel fake-coughed. Jehan went as pink as Feuilly.

"We are not!" xe protested. Feuilly shook his head emphatically.

Bahorel just rolled his eyes. "Sure you're not," he replied, clearly unconvinced.

Jehan glared at him. "And even if we _were_ ," xe added, "you'd be a total mood killer."

"Shall I leave, then?" Bahorel asked, gesturing at the door. "Let you flirt in peace?"

Feuilly reached out and cuffed Bahorel lightly around the head. He signed something Jehan didn't recognize, but seemed to be something along the lines of "shut up." With a self-satisfied grin, Bahorel did.

* * *

Jehan saw Feuilly at meetings, of course, and xe occasionally met up with him at other times to work on sign language, but Jehan never saw Feuilly outside of those times. Xe never ran into him on the streets, probably because they lived in very different parts of the town, and they never ran into each other in restaurants or shops. But they saw each other at their scheduled times, and if those scheduled times became more and more frequent, that was their problem, not anyone else's.

"Jehan!" Grantaire called at the end of one meeting, going to Jehan's side. "I'm going to have to miss our meet up at the Corinthe tonight. Apollo wants me to make flyers, and I may or may not have put them off until about right now."

"That's alright, R," Jehan replied, patting Grantaire's cheek distractedly as xe watched Feuilly leave with Bahorel. "Make your flyers."

"Somehow, I get the feeling you're not paying much attention to me," Grantaire remarked, following Jehan's gaze to Feuilly. "Just tell him how you feel!"

"I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about," Jehan replied airily, gathering xyr things and standing. "See you next meeting?"

"Alright," Grantaire replied, a slight grin on his face. "See you then."

Even if Grantaire wasn't going to be there, Jehan decided xe would go out drinking anyway. A night of fun was just what xe needed to get xyr mind off Feuilly. Not that xe particularly _minded_ thinking about Feuilly all the time, but it was approaching Grantaire-and-Enjolras levels of obsession, which was a problem. Jehan just needed to remove xemself a bit and everything would go back to normal.

Jehan went back to xyr apartment and got ready to go out, rebraiding xyr hair with a liberal amount of flowers and pinning it up in a bun before slipping into xyr favorite bar outfit - a knee-length jersey skirt and a tight t-shirt. Grabbing xyr bag, xe left xyr apartment, heading to the Corinthe.

Jehan was halfway there when the jeering first started. "Hey!" a voice called. Jehan turned to see a clearly-drunk frat boy calling to him. "Hey, are you a dude or a chick?" The boy's three companions laughed at the question.

Jehan ignored the comments (and the implication of a strictly binary gender system) and continued walking. A few minutes later, a hand grabbed xyr arm and yanked xem backwards.

"I asked you a question," the guy stated, shoving Jehan into a wall. "Are you a dude or a chick?"

"I identify as genderqueer, actually," Jehan replied in as steady a voice as xe could muster. "Boy and girl aren't the only options."

"Did you hear that?" the boy asked the others, turning to them. "He says he's 'genderqueer.' What the hell does that mean?"

"I don't use the pronoun he," Jehan put in, pushing xyr way out of the boy's grip. "I use the pronouns xe/xem/xyrs."

"Those aren't even fricking _words_ ," another frat boy protested. "What's wrong with this guy?"

"There's nothing wrong with my gender identity," Jehan retorted, bristling at the words. "Any gender identity is equally valid, and you should respect the way people feel." Even though xe knew xe shouldn't, Jehan scanned the group. "If you put together all your brain cells, you might have enough to figure that out." Xe had never been able to resist adding a parting shot.

"What did you just say?" the first boy accused, his fingers curling into a fist. "Boys, I think we need to teach this guy some lessons on respect."

"Are we going to have the flunkie teaching classes?" Jehan asked innocently. The boy's fist slammed into xyr cheek, snapping xyr face to the side, and the fight was on.

Jehan wasn't as unprepared as the group of boys seemed to have expected xem to be, but even xe had xyr limits, and fighting a group of four boys alone was pushing them. Then, the next thing Jehan knew, another fist was flying through the air, striking the first boy on the nose. Jehan turned to see xyr savior and was greeted by Feuilly's grin. Resolving to ask questions after they'd gotten away, Jehan turned back to the boys, who now only numbered three, as one of them had run off.

"Freak!" the first boy shouted at Jehan, who punched him again.

"I am not a freak!" xe replied, kicking at another boy who was approaching. Feuilly had sent the third boy running and was coming over to defend Jehan. "Just because I identify as a different gender than you do doesn't mean that I'm any less human than you are."

The second to last boy sprinted off, leaving only the first boy facing off against Feuilly and Jehan. "Go to hell!" he shouted, turning to dash off.

"If I do, I'll be sure to find you there!" Jehan shouted back before turning to Feuilly. "Where did you come from?" xe asked him when he knew Feuilly was looking at his mouth.

 _"I live over there,"_ Feuilly signed back, gesturing towards a side street. _"Are you okay?"_

"Mostly," Jehan replied, looking at xyr hands, which were bruised and bloody. With a touch of melancholy, xe realized xyr manicure had chipped. _"You?"_ xe signed.

Feuilly grinned, revealing bloody teeth. _"Mostly,"_ he parroted. His hands seemed to be in the same state as Jehan's. _"Should we go back to my place and get cleaned up?"_

Jehan nodded. _"Thanks,"_ xe signed, following Feuilly to his apartment.

 _"It's not as nice as your place,"_ Feuilly signed when they reached the door, looking a bit nervous.

Jehan shrugged.  _"I don't care,"_ xe signed back. Feuilly seemed to take a deep breath before unlocking the door.

The apartment was small and badly-lit, but it looked comfortable, at least. _"Sorry about the mess,"_ Feuilly signed before he frantically began shoving papers and empty take-out containers under a blanket. _"I wasn't expecting company,"_ he added when he was done.

 _"It's fine,"_ Jehan signed back, looking around. The apartment seemed to just be one room plus a bathroom, furnished sparsely. _"Can I?"_ Jehan signed, gesturing towards the sink.

 _"Of course,"_ Feuilly replied, crossing the room as Jehan went to wash the blood off xyr hands. He slipped into the bathroom as Jehan put all xyr strength into turning the faucet handles. The water was cold, but the hot water tap was stuck, and Jehan didn't want to use up Feuilly's hot water for no reason.

Most of the blood on Jehan's hands wasn't xyrs, and the scrapes on xyr knuckles didn't seem to be bleeding anymore, so xe left them alone, deciding to bandage them when xe got home, if they still needed it.

 _"Sorry about the mess,"_ Feuilly signed again as he stepped out of the bathroom, looking a little nervous. _"I normally don't spend too much time here, so I don't really get the chance to clean."_

 _"No problem,"_ Jehan replied, shrugging. _"You should see my bedroom. I don't think papers have ever reached the trash can."_ Feuilly laughed at that. Jehan beamed. _"Thank you for helping me, by the way,"_ xe added. _"That could have gotten messy."_

 _"Of course I helped,"_ Feuilly replied, as if it were obvious that he would. _"I wasn't going to leave you out there on your own."_

Jehan leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek, trying not to blush.  _"Thank you anyway,"_ xe signed.

Feuilly ducked his head.  _"Were you going somewhere?"_ he signed curiously. _"You look nice."_

Jehan blushed at the compliment, reaching up to check on the flowers in xyr hair. _"I was on my way to the…"_ Jehan frowned, unsure how to sign it. "The Corinthe," xe said aloud, shrugging.

 _"Alone?"_ Feuilly asked.

Jehan nodded.  _"I was going to go with R, but he canceled."_ Even though Jehan had, for a short time, thought that going out would help get xyr mind off Feuilly, xe changed xyr mind. Going out _with_ Feuilly was a much better idea. _"Can I buy my hero a drink?"_ xe signed.

Feuilly ducked his head again. _"It was nothing."_

Jehan shrugged.  _"Can I buy you a drink anyway?"_ xe asked, angling his fingers awkwardly so Feuilly could see them. Feuilly peeked up through his lashes shyly, then nodded. Jehan beamed.

An hour or two later, both Jehan and Feuilly were both rather drunk. Feuilly had been signing incessantly for the past five minutes, but he'd been going too fast for Jehan to understand anything more than the odd word.

"Whoa!" xe laughed, grabbing Feuilly's fingers and pinning them together. Xe couldn't entirely remember the signs xe wanted to use. Xe'd have to speak aloud and hope Feuilly wasn't too drunk to read lips. "Do you want to go back to my place?"

Feuilly looked at Jehan in confusion.  _"I don't understand."_

Jehan frowned, then began giggling madly as xe realized xe'd spoken in German.  _"Should we go to my apartment?"_ xe signed, the gestures suddenly returning to him. Feuilly nodded eagerly, leaning on Jehan's shoulder as they stumbled down the street.

Jehan managed to unlock xyr apartment on the fourth try and they stumbled into the front room, giggling as Feuilly signed a story Jehan only half understood.

 _"And then"_ \- Jehan didn't understand the next sign - _"said that he was"_ \- Jehan didn't understand that either - _"and he fell off the stage!"_ Feuilly's laugh was infectious. Jehan couldn't help but laugh along, even though xe wasn't quite sure what was so funny.

"Oh!" Jehan cried as xe fell onto xyr couch, accidentally dragging Feuilly down on top of xem. Their lips were very close.

"Can I..." Jehan breathed, leaning up slightly. Feuilly closed the distance between them in a surge, their teeth clicking together and saliva getting everywhere and the passion threatening to burn Jehan alive.

Most of the night passed in a blur, but Jehan remembered a lot of kissing. The next morning, xe woke up on the couch, xyr head pounding and xyr stomach roiling with nausea and xyr heart thudding at the thought of seeing Feuilly again.

Except Feuilly was no where to be found.

* * *

"Is Feuilly running late?" Jehan asked Bahorel as everyone got settled for the meeting. Xe had been waiting with bated breath for the moment xe could see Feuilly again, after their night of drunken kisses. He hadn't been there when Jehan woke up, nor had he answered any of xyr texts.

"He's not coming to the meeting," Bahorel replied. "He's been acting super weird since the last one, actually."

"Weird how?" Jehan asked, xyr gut twisting.

Bahorel shrugged. "Avoiding me. Avoiding conversation in general, really. Has he texted you at all?"

"No," Jehan replied, biting xyr lip. "I think I might know what the problem is, and it's my fault."

"What?" Bahorel asked, sounding surprised. "No, Jehan, I don't think you did anything. He likes hanging out with you."

"We hung out on Saturday, got drunk, and kissed a bit," Jehan told Bahorel after sneaking a look around xem to make sure no one was listening. "He was gone when I woke up and he's been avoiding me ever since."

"Was it all consensual?" Bahorel asked.

Jehan twisted xyr hands together. "I'm pretty sure. I mean, I asked him, and then he kissed me, and we weren't _that_ drunk. I just wonder if he regrets it, and I wished he'd just talk to me about it."

"Have you tried talking to him?" Bahorel asked.

Jehan nodded. "I've texted him at least two dozen times, but he hasn't replied at all. What do you think I should do?"

"Honestly, he's probably not reading your texts," Bahorel replied with a shrug. "I think you'll have to find him and do this face to face."

Jehan considered that for a moment, then stood. "Where is Feuilly now?"

"Um, probably at his apartment, but Jehan-" Before Bahorel finished his sentence, Jehan had already left, bumping into Combeferre on xyr way out.

"Is something wrong?" Combeferre asked, pushing his glasses up from where they'd slid down his nose.

"I'll be missing the meeting," Jehan replied. Xe twisted around Combeferre to leave the room. "Apologize to Enjolras for me!" Before Combeferre could say anything else, Jehan had left the Musain and was heading towards Feuilly's apartment.

Now came the question of what xe was going to say to him.

A question still unanswered ten minutes later, when Jehan found himself outside Feuilly's door, flickering the light switch he used as a doorbell of sorts. Feuilly came to the door a moment later, shock immediately registering on his face.

 _"Jehan?"_ he signed, looking dumbfounded.

 _"Look,"_ Jehan signed back. There were phrases on other languages that xe could think of to say, and quotes from poems and books and plays, but xe wanted to use xyr own words for this. _"If you regret the fact that we kissed, that's okay, but that doesn't give you the right to avoid me."_

 _"I wasn't-"_ Feuilly began to sign, but Jehan reached out and grabbed his hands, stilling them. Xe shook xyr head sternly, a clear message on xyr face: No interrupting.

 _"I don't regret the kiss,"_ xe signed boldly, hoping it wasn't a mistake. _"If you don't want to talk about it, I won't, but I'm glad we did it. I've been wanting to for a while, actually. And if that makes you uncomfortable, I'm sorry, but I thought you should know."_ Feuilly just stared at Jehan, wide-eyed. _"Did you regret the kiss?"_ Jehan signed.

Slowly, very slowly, Feuilly shook his head. _"You didn't either?"_

 _"Not one bit,"_ Jehan signed, and then xe was kissing Feuilly and xe was flying.

Somehow they stumbled backwards into Feuilly's apartment, ending up on his couch. Jehan whispered foreign words as he pressed kisses onto Feuilly's skin.

_I love you._

_Je t'aime._

_Ich liebe dich._

_σ 'αγαπώ._

_te amo._

But when Feuilly dragged Jehan's lips up to his and kissed xem like it was the only thing that could keep him alive, Jehan thought it got the point across better than any words ever could.

**Author's Note:**

> 1 _Dérive_ \- "aimless walk" in French
> 
> 2 _Welträtsel_ \- "world riddle" in German, associated with Nietzsche
> 
> 3 _βοηθήστε με_ \- "help me" in Greek
> 
> The phrases at the end all translate to "I love you" in the following languages: French, German, Greek, and Latin. The only languages I speak are English and French (somewhat) so if I have butchered any phrases, I apologize.
> 
> * * *
> 
> My writing tumblr is [here](http://winterskywrites.tumblr.com/), if you're interested.


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